Taking Off Read online

  I felt my cheeks warm, feeling so young. I wasn’t acting like me. “Nothing.”

  We fell into silence, looking out over the water at the birds playing.

  “Hey, have you thought about how we’re going to get to the launch tomorrow?” Tommy asked. “You didn’t meet any art-car people at the motel, did you?”

  “I called the desk when you were in the shower. Our favorite desk clerk said we could walk to a fairly good spot.” I shrugged. “I’d really like to see it from the causeway on-site, but if we can’t, we can’t.”

  “Don’t give up. Maybe we can find someone tonight to go with.”

  “Maybe,” I said, knowing it was doubtful. I was, in fact, very disappointed. But there wasn’t much we could do. And I was definitely going to see the launch, just maybe not from the causeway.

  “Here you are,” said Jane, setting the pints of beer in front of us.

  I sipped mine as I watched Jane watch Tommy. My eyes, through no will of my own, flickered over to Tommy. I found him staring right at me, not at Jane. Startled, my grip on the beer wavered just a smidge and beer splashed up.

  “You okay?” asked Tommy.

  I wiped my mouth with a napkin, slightly embarrassed.

  “Thanks,” Tommy said, dismissing the waitress before turning his attention back to me.

  “Sure,” Jane said, disappointment in her voice. I knew she’d been expecting something different. The waitress left, her stiff upper lip set in a firm line.

  “You didn’t have to be rude to her,” I said, happy.

  “Rude?” Tommy laughed. “I can’t seem to win here. I’m either too friendly or not friendly enough.”

  I smiled at him, a little smile. I liked the way he made me feel. All light and easy, while something scary and sweet floated inside. But I also didn’t like it. The feeling was nice, but it pulled me off balance. I never felt that way with Mark.

  I took another sip of my beer, not really liking it. I’d never had a dark beer before. It was full and thick and bitter. And it was cold, so it was making me feel colder. I pulled my jean jacket tighter around me.

  I sipped my beer again, trying to focus on liking it.

  Tommy laughed. “You hate that.”

  I laughed with him. He seemed to relax. He leaned back in his chair. “So, Annie, I’m confused about something. For a girl who is so interested in seeing all the countries in Epcot, why are you even thinking about staying in Clear Lake?”

  “How did you know I was thinking about staying?” I asked, trying to remember if I told him that.

  He smiled sheepishly. “Your dad.”

  They did talk a lot about me. This made me more fidgety. What else did Dad tell him?

  “So?” Tommy asked. “Why would you stay?”

  It was a good question. But I wasn’t sure I could explain it. My family had lived in the Gulf Coast region of Texas for generations. And they were proud of that. Despite the hurricanes and the flooding, the mosquitoes that never stopped biting, the flatness of the land, they were drawn to the place. But I didn’t think I could make someone who didn’t feel that understand it. Maybe a poet could, though.

  “Well, you know,” I began, “all my grandparents were born in Galveston County. The Porters and the Graces have roots firmly in the soil around here, or there.”

  “So you want to stay because everyone else has?”

  Roots, place, rooted to this water-logged place. “I like feeling I belong somewhere.”

  “You feel you belong in Clear Lake?”

  “You know Clear Lake is a new town. It sprang up in the late fifties and early sixties with NASA. But the other small towns in the area, League City, Webster, Kemah, Seabrook, have been there a long time.”

  “I’m from there too, you know, Annie,” he said, with a grin.

  “Oh, right.” I smiled. “Sorry.”

  “So you feel you belong there?”

  “In a way. And also, not,” I admitted. “It’s funny. All my friends, the kids at school, they’re all so sure about what they want to do, whether it’s stay, or whether it’s go off to college because they want to be this or be that. I want to do both. I want to stay. I want to go. I wish I knew.”

  I’d surprised myself, talking to a stranger this much about my feelings about after—after graduation. I looked at Tommy, who was listening intently. Listening like he didn’t already have in mind what he wanted me to do.

  When Mark listened, he was all set to influence me to stay.

  When Mom or my teachers or Lea listened, I could see their opinions about my life perched on their tongues ready to spill out.

  Their expectations were so loud in my head I couldn’t hear my own wishes.

  But with Tommy, as he sat here, just listening, not expecting, that chorus of voices was finally, blissfully, hushed.

  I looked at him, grateful. I leaned forward. “I don’t know what I want to do.” I sat on my hands to warm them. They were chilled from clutching the cold beer.

  He nodded. “I know that feeling.”

  “Really? Is that why you left USC?”

  “Not exactly.”

  I studied him. His mind was someplace else. “Why, then?”

  He swirled his beer. “I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there. I am there. Early on, my mom and especially my dad had their own ideas about what they wanted me to do.” He shrugged. “When I told them what I wanted …” He shook his head. “They didn’t like it.”

  “So,” I said quietly, “what did you want to do?” I was very curious. It must be something cool and adventurous. I could see Tommy hiking in the Amazon looking for wild plant life.

  “I want to be a teacher. A high school history teacher.”

  My surprise must have showed on my face.

  He laughed. “Not what you thought I’d say?”

  “No,” I acknowledged. What was with hot guys wanting to be high school teachers? It was usually crones with rulers. Okay, maybe not. But it definitely wasn’t guys like Tommy and Mr. Williams. This was a coup for teenage girls.

  “Yeah,” said Tommy. “So that’s it.”

  “And your parents don’t want you to?”

  “A loser job, according to my father. I wouldn’t be able to support myself, a family, on and on.”

  “They’d rather you work in the plant?”

  “Well, no.” He took a drink of his beer. “Nothing wrong with the plant, you know.”

  “No, I know.”

  “Your dad’s a good worker, Annie. You seem to think he’s, I don’t know, in a dead-end job or something. He’s good at his job. Really good. And he likes it.”

  I was quiet.

  “I’m sorry,” Tommy said. “If I said too much.”

  “I’m just thinking about what you said.”

  He nodded. “So all you want to do is drink in every country in Epcot.” He laughed and pointed at my beer. “At this rate, it will take us a long time!”

  I looked at his empty glass and smiled. “I didn’t say I wanted to finish a glass, just that I wanted to drink in every country.”

  “Well, then, you ready to go to France?”

  “I think Canada is closer.”

  “Who cares what’s closer? We’ve got time.”

  He stood and threw some cash on the table for Jane Austen. We were off to France.

  CHAPTER 27

  I couldn’t remember when I’d had such a good time. I felt guilty all the time with Mark, like I wasn’t doing enough for him. I didn’t know when things had become that way between us. We’d been good friends first, with easy laughs and sweet—and passionate—kisses. But senior year had changed us.

  “Ready for Magic Kingdom?” Tommy asked. “Space Mountain? Big Thunder Mountain Railroad? More food?”

  He reminded me of a kid wound up on candy.

  He grinned. “What?”

  We’d been wandering the countries of Epcot for hours. Drinking in every country had become tasting in every country,
whether it was a pastry in France or a Coke in the good old USA. We were now eating enchiladas in Mexico, or trying to. I was stuffed. “I’ll be sick if I eat one more thing.”

  “Right. No more eating. But you still gotta see Mickey Mouse.” He hopped up like a spring released. Man, the guy had energy. Mark moved slower. I knew I should stop comparing them. Mark was my boyfriend. Tommy was a friend, my dad’s friend really. And Mom hadn’t been particularly pleased about that.

  Oh no.

  I hadn’t thought of Mom since I’d been here. I hadn’t talked to Mom. I was supposed to call her when I got to Cocoa Beach. That was last night, a lifetime ago.

  I jumped up. “I need a phone.”

  Tommy scrunched his eyes.

  “I need to call my mom!”

  “Hold on there, little missy.”

  “You don’t understand. I need to call my mom.”

  “Okay, let’s find a phone,” he said, grabbing my hand and heading back toward the park entrance.

  His hand was in mine. My hand was in his. In the midst of the panic about Mom being freaked out and worried, I thought about the feel of Tommy’s hand, strong and warm. I liked it. I liked the way a girl we passed looked at Tommy, then glanced back at me, surprising me with the open curiosity on her face.

  “There’s a phone in the information office,” said Tommy, weaving us through the crowds. “They’ll let us use it.”

  Huh? What were we doing?

  Oh, yeah, Mom. I had to call my mom. I’d walk faster, but Tommy was already pulling me along at a good clip. Again, I thought about how I sauntered around with Mark, always going at his speed, which was easy and slow. He would never go faster. He would just pull me back, slowing me down, getting irritated if I walked at my own pace.

  There was a line in the information center. Of course there was a line. This was Disney World. But everyone at the desk ahead had a Disney smile on his or her Disney face. They were always so happy. It was a little creepy, but I liked it.

  It was warmer in the office. And Tommy was still holding my hand. I had a boyfriend. I couldn’t be holding some other guy’s hand, even if that guy was the finest guy I’d ever met in my life.

  No.

  I let go.

  “So you were supposed to call your mom when you got here,” Tommy said, looking at me.

  “She’s going to kill me.”

  Tommy looked thoughtful. “What are you going to tell her?”

  “That I’m in Florida, that I made it here safely. I’m sure she’s freaking out. What time is it in Houston?”

  Tommy glanced at his watch. “Three.”

  “She’s gonna be mad.”

  “She’ll be worried. But when she finds out you’re okay, she’ll be okay.”

  I didn’t think so.

  “So,” Tommy asked, “are you going to tell her you’re here with me and not your dad? And that we’re sharing a motel room together?” I bit my lip. Our eyes locked.

  “Nothing happened,” I said. Tommy was looking at me, with raised eyebrows. Nothing happened? I couldn’t believe I actually said that. Nothing happened?

  Tommy flashed that wide smile of his. The older woman in front of us gave us a quick, amused look.

  “Am I blushing?” I said softly. “I’m blushing, aren’t I?”

  “From here,” said Tommy, touching my forehead with one finger, “to here,” he ended, moving to my chin.

  He was looking right into my eyes. There was a beat of stillness as I stared back. It was one of those sweet moments that could turn into a long, deep kiss, if we weren’t standing in a crowded room. And if I didn’t already have a boyfriend.

  I looked at my tennis shoes. That seemed a safe place to look. When I glanced back up, the moment was gone.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked him. He was going through his pockets.

  “Did I give you the motel key?”

  I shook my head. Again, I looked at my shoes.

  “We can get another one when we go back.” Tommy craned his neck, looking at the people working the desk. “What’s taking so long?”

  When I finally did get to a phone, my hands were shaking.

  “Hello.”

  Mom sounded calm. “Mom?”

  “Hi, Annie!” she said, in a very happy voice. Something was wrong. Why wasn’t she mad? “It’s so good to hear your voice, Annie. Are you having fun?”

  “Yeah.” I heard someone talking in the background. “Is Donald there?” So Donald’s there and Mom completely forgets about her own daughter?

  “She’s having fun, Donald,” said Mom.

  I couldn’t believe this. I’d been so worried Mom was in a panic, and here she was almost giddy. It was because she was with her boyfriend. She was becoming one of those kind of mothers. But I should be glad. I was off the hook.

  “Your dad called and said y’all were having a good time down there. But it’s still good to hear your voice. Because, well …” Mom didn’t finish, but said something else to Donald. She must be covering the phone. Her voice was muffled.

  Tommy was looking at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

  So Dad had called. I wondered what he’d said. Obviously, he hadn’t told Mom what was really going on, which made me feel very relieved and very anxious. I hadn’t had a chance to think about what I was going to tell Mom. I was sure I would have ended up telling her the truth because I’d never been a very good liar. At this moment, it was very disappointing Dad hadn’t passed along that gene.

  But now—

  “So what are y’all doing?” I asked.

  Mom laughed. “You’re the one on vacation in Florida. So they’re going to launch tomorrow, is that right?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “We’re at Disney right now.”

  “That’s great! Have you visited that new park?”

  “Epcot? Mom, it’s been open for four years.”

  “Oh, that’s right.”

  “I have to go,” I said. Mom sounded so happy. I thought she’d be a little worried. She’d been so worried when we left. Worried about Dad. And it turned out Mom had been right about that.

  “Okay, Annie,” said Mom. “You’ll call tomorrow? I mean, it’s good your dad called, but I want to hear from you.”

  “I’ll call after the launch.”

  “You’re leaving right after?”

  “Yep. Back on the road tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Okay,” said Mom. “Talk to you then.”

  I hung up.

  “What?” Tommy asked.

  “Huh? Nothing.” I looked at him, shaking my head. “Ready to go to Magic Kingdom?”

  CHAPTER 28

  Crowds, dark, fear, stars, alone, Tommy touching my hair—

  Then we were off. Our space shuttle whirled to the right. We entered a long tunnel with flashing blue lights. I laughed.

  “You okay up there?” asked Tommy, patting my head from his seat behind me in our space shuttle.

  “Yeah,” I told him.

  His hands were on my shoulders. “This is going to be fun, Annie.”

  A sweet rush of excitement flipped my stomach over. I thought of the astronauts and the giddy anticipation they must feel twenty-four hours before launching into space. A girl in front of me screamed, and I laughed. The ride hadn’t really started—

  “Whoooooa,” I shouted as our rocket flew down the track, pushing and pulling us through turns, and dropping, dropping. I could see little—the person in front of me, other space rockets in the distance, the dark sky filled with stars and comets. I was flying.

  “Oh man!” yelled Tommy in a voice filled with amazement. “So coooool!”

  It was cool, so cool, and I wanted it to go on and on, just riding this rocket, alone, but not, in the dark, but not, with this sweet feeling soaring through me. I was happy, so happy.

  And then I was screaming along with the girl in front of me as our space shuttle barreled down the last steep incline. I could feel the smile on my face as we went down and d
own, and the wind rushed by my cheeks.

  When we reached the red wormhole at the end of the ride, I was so let down that it was coming to an end.

  “Liked that, did you?” asked Tommy, throwing an arm around my shoulder when we got off the ride.

  “Oh yeah.”

  He laughed. “Oh yeah is right.”

  “Wanna go again?” I asked.

  He grinned and grabbed my hand, pulling me past the people taking their time on the way out.

  “The line will be long,” I called out as we jogged.

  He just grinned again, and I grinned back. That smile stayed on my face for two more long waits in line and flights through the dark.

  It was late when we got back to the motel.

  I plopped into an uncomfortable chair in the lobby while Tommy stood in line to pick up a new key. Next to me, a couple of men with beers in their hands were talking. When I heard one of them mention the shuttle, my ears perked up.

  “They think it’s going to be too cold,” one of the men said.

  “Isn’t this the fourth delay?”

  “More than that. We’re never getting this one off the ground.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  The men looked at me expectantly.

  “Are you talking about the shuttle launch? Has it been rescheduled again?”

  The first man nodded while the other took a sip of his drink. “Slipped until Monday.”

  “Thanks,” I said, feeling enormously let down. And I remembered the lines from May Swenson’s poem “August 19, Pad 19”:

  All my system’s go, but oh,

  an anger of the air won’t let me go.

  On the screen the blip is MISSION SCRUBBED …

  Tommy was also disappointed. “Aw, man. You got me really excited about this.”

  “I thought you wanted to come all along,” I said, on the way back to the room.

  “I did. But your talking about Christa and the flight all the way here has gotten me jazzed.”

  I wondered how this was going to affect my plans. I wasn’t going home. A day ago, I would’ve thought Mom would have forced me to come home, would have driven over here to get me. But after talking to her today, I didn’t think Mom would care that I wasn’t coming home tomorrow. Of course, she didn’t know about my being here alone with Tommy.