Taking Off Page 14

  At the river’s edge, photographers had set up tripods. A few people had telescopes. I itched to take a look at the pad through one.

  “How far away is that?” asked Tommy, looking toward the pad.

  “Six or seven miles,” I told him. I sipped the hot coffee Dad had gotten for us at the diner. He’d bought a thermos full. “Will you hold my coffee? I want to take a picture.”

  “Sure,” Tommy said, taking my coffee. “The shuttle is going to look very small in your photo, though.”

  As I looked through the viewfinder, I knew he was right. “Still, I want a photo.” I snapped a couple of shots, then turned around and took one of Tommy while he grinned at me. That was one photo Mark wouldn’t see. But I’d show it to Lea. I had to have something left of Tommy after this trip.

  Announcements were made over a loudspeaker. It sounded like some public-affairs guy at NASA. We could also hear some technical chatter going on between the launch-control center and the astronauts, who were already onboard and strapped into their seats, according to the very informative young boy standing next to me.

  “They’re lying on their backs in the crew cabin,” he told me, gesturing with his hands, “and their feet are up in the air.”

  Christa was a long way from her classroom in Concord. There she was, way over there, across the water, in the shuttle, on the launchpad.

  “That can’t be comfortable,” Tommy said.

  “No, it’s not,” the boy said very seriously.

  Tommy started asking the boy questions because he did appear to be our expert here, even though he couldn’t have been more than ten or eleven.

  I looked over at my father. “Dad?”

  “Yep?” he asked, looking through binoculars at the pad.

  “What did you tell Mom?” I asked, jumping up and down to get warm.

  The question startled him a little. “You want the binoculars?”

  “No, Dad.” I pulled them down from his eyes. “Stop changing the subject. What did you tell her?”

  “Honey, why do you want to be worrying your mother for? Everything’s fine. I knew she’d freak if I told her the car had broken down and you’d gone on without me. She doesn’t know Tommy like I do,” he said. “She wouldn’t have understood.”

  “Dad—”

  “Everything was fine, right?”

  “Yes, Dad—”

  “And Tommy took care of you, right?”

  “Dad—”

  “And was a perfect gentleman, right?”

  “Dad!” I called out.

  I glanced at Tommy, who was obviously pretending not to be listening. I was sure Dad wouldn’t be one to think a kiss was ungentlemanly, but Tommy looked worried. Yesterday Dad had been plenty mad about the motel room.

  Dad laughed. “Annie, everything’s fine. What your mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

  “Okay.”

  “And anyway,” he continued, “she seemed distracted.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked, but I had thought the same thing.

  Dad shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said, looking through the binoculars again. I knew I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him.

  I looked over at Tommy and he winked at me. My heart fluttered. Or was it my stomach? Something fluttered. One wink and I was feeling off balance: I was in trouble.

  Then I heard the crowd groan. “What?” I asked, looking at NASA Boy. “What happened? I wasn’t listening.”

  “They’re holding the countdown.”

  “But,” Tommy asked, “didn’t you say they’ve got planned holds in the countdown?”

  “What do you mean by planned holds?” I asked.

  “T minus twenty minutes doesn’t mean the launch is twenty minutes away,” Tommy explained. “Because NASA counts the clock down to certain times and then holds there.”

  “But they should be starting the clock again,” said the boy. “There’s a problem with the hatch.”

  Dad laughed. “Seriously? They can’t close the door?”

  “They closed it, but they’re not sure it’s locked.”

  “How do you know all this, kid?” Dad asked.

  The boy pointed to the loudspeakers.

  I laughed. “I guess he listens, and we don’t.”

  “My daughter knows the teacher,” Dad told the boy’s father.

  “Really?” asked the dad, taking off his sunglasses. “Is she your teacher?”

  “No,” I said. “I just met her twice.”

  “She ate dinner with her,” Dad said.

  NASA Boy was suddenly very interested in me. From the way he was looking at me, I thought he might be falling in love. “How many people were there?”

  “At dinner?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, were there like a hundred?” he asked, waving his arms. “Was it a big dinner with lots of people there?”

  “No. There were about twelve. It was at someone’s house.”

  “You are so lucky!”

  “What’s Christa McAuliffe like?” his father asked.

  “She’s friendly, really nice,” I said, feeling a little special.

  Both the boy and his dad were nodding. The dad looked back at the shuttle. “Well, I bet she’s tired of waiting.”

  The boy’s freckles were small and perfect dots sprinkled across his nose and cheeks. “Did you know there were nine shuttle flights last year? And thirteen more scheduled for this year?”

  “Nope.”

  “Did you know that they want to launch twenty-four a year?”

  “Really. Wow.”

  “I want to be an astronaut,” said the boy. “Do you?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t like small spaces.”

  “But you’d be going into space! And you could look out the window and see the Earth. That’d make you forget about the small spaces!”

  “You’re probably right.”

  He rubbed his chin like an old person, looking at the shuttle in the distance. “I’d really like to go into space one day.”

  Finally, NASA was satisfied the hatch was locked. But when the technicians closed it again, a pesky four-inch bolt kept them from removing the door handle.

  “These things happen,” NASA Boy told me. His father gave me a quick smile over the boy’s head.

  “Hey, anyone want to play cards?” I asked. “I brought some.”

  “Sure!” said the kid, who just might’ve been my new boyfriend.

  The five of us settled down to play Gin and War for a while, but the wind had picked up. We had to put cards under our legs to keep them from blowing away.

  NASA eventually got rid of the handle—with a hacksaw and a drill, which cracked Dad up—but by that time, the winds were so high there was a possibility the shuttle wouldn’t be able to do an RTLS—Return to Launch Site abort—in the event of an emergency.

  So there was one more delay while we waited for the winds to die down. The boy and his father pulled sandwiches out of their cooler. I was too nervous to be hungry.

  I lay back on the sleeping bag and covered myself with the blanket. It had warmed up a little—now in the fifties—but the wind was very strong, gusting up to thirty miles per hour and keeping us cold. Tommy lay down beside me. I looked over at him and he grinned. He was so good looking it was ridiculous.

  I turned over to my side and looked at him. He touched my nose. “You look like Rudolph.” Then he took his new red scarf and wrapped it around both of us. “It’s good you made it so long. It warms both our necks.”

  “It’s not really long enough for both of us.”

  “But isn’t this nice?” he whispered.

  “Annie, you won’t believe this.” I looked up at Dad, who was pointing toward the pad. “Did you hear the announcement?” He glanced back at me quickly.

  “No,” I said, jumping up, a bit worried that I’d been staring into Tommy’s eyes. I couldn’t stay away from this guy. “What’s going on, D
ad?” I looked at my watch. It was just after noon.

  Dad hesitated for a moment, looking at Tommy getting up, and then back at me. “I don’t think it’s going to happen, Annie.”

  “What, the launch? Don’t say that.”

  Even NASA Boy looked worried.

  “Man, I wish they’d launch this bird,” Dad said.

  The boy was shaking his head. “The astronauts have been lying on their backs for four hours.”

  His father looked our way. “I don’t think they’re ever going to get this shuttle off the ground.”

  Tommy and I started to listen to the public-affairs guy talking over the speaker system. The wind was really gusting. I’d drunk so much coffee, I was sick to my stomach.

  And then came this:

  “WE HAVE JUST HAD AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE LAUNCH DIRECTOR TO THE CREW AND THE LAUNCH TEAM THAT WE ARE GOING TO SCRUB TODAY.”

  The crowd groaned.

  “Aw, man!” the boy yelled out.

  “I can’t believe that!” said his father, pouring out his coffee. “That’s it for us.”

  “What do you mean, Dad?”

  “We’ve got to get back to Georgia. I’ve got work.”

  “Daaad,” the boy complained, his shoulders slumped. Poor kid.

  We said our good-byes, and they walked off—NASA Boy dragging his feet.

  “We’re staying,” I told Dad.

  “This has been one interesting trip, Annie,” Dad said. “At least we’re not at the plant, right, Tommy?”

  “True,” said Tommy. “And the trip’s had its good points.” He began helping me fold up the blankets and sleeping bags.

  CHAPTER 32

  We’d already checked out of the motel, as we were going to drive back to Houston after the launch. We had to see if we could get our room back, which turned out not to be a problem.

  “A lot of people are going home,” said the desk clerk, shrugging. “They can’t stay for another attempt.”

  I asked Dad and Tommy if they’d bring me back a burger from the diner. It’d been a long day. The traffic had been heavy and slow coming out of the space center. And after the scrub, people were not in good driving moods. It was nice to be by myself for a little bit.

  I settled down to watch the news, welcoming the warmth of the room after being out in the cold wind all day. The anchor began the newscast by saying, “Yet another costly, red-faces-all-around space-shuttle-launch delay. This time a bad bolt on a hatch and a bad-weather bolt from the blue are being blamed. What’s more, a rescheduled launch for tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” He called it a “high-tech low comedy.”

  The news showed footage of the weary astronauts leaving the Astrovan for their crew quarters. They looked disappointed and frustrated.

  Enough television. I turned it off.

  We were not going to leave for home until we launched. I was determined to argue with both Mom and Dad if they refused me. I had to see this liftoff. The more we delayed, the more I wanted to be there when Christa left for space.

  I was lying on the bed trying to read The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh when Tommy came in with a foam container. I sat up, sitting cross-legged, laying down Vincent’s words about how the sun shone more brightly when you were in love.

  “Your burger,” he said, handing it to me. “And fries.”

  “Thanks.” I put it on the bedside table. “Where’s my dad?”

  “Talking to the waitress. You doing okay?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  “I don’t think you are.”

  “I just have a lot on my mind, a lot to think about.”

  “Mark?” he asked.

  I smiled ruefully. “I thought this would be a road trip of pure fun. I didn’t expect to be faced with more confusing decisions. It was supposed to be a break from all that.”

  Tommy sat down beside me on the bed. “Annie, have you thought you might be with Mark just out of habit, because you’ve known him so long?”

  “Well, I’m glad you’ve figured it out,” I said.

  “I came up with the answer I like best.” He smiled.

  “Yes, you did,” I said, fingering the red heart on my locket.

  “Tell me, Annie,” he said. “Is there hope for me here? With you?”

  “There’s … hope.”

  “Okay. And if there is, shouldn’t we have a chance to see what’s there? What’s going on with us?”

  “Not now. Mark doesn’t know … any of this yet.”

  Tommy was quiet for a moment. “You could call him.”

  “Call him?” I asked incredulously. “Call him?”

  Tommy took my hand. “I like you, Annie.” My stomach flipped. “More than I’ve liked anyone in a long time.”

  “You don’t even know me,” I said, thinking of Mark and how long we’d been going together and how long we’d been friends before that.

  “I feel like I do. From your dad. But also you’re just … something else,” he said, shaking his head. “I can talk to you. You’re kind. You’re a thinker. You’re funny.”

  Little tremors of nervous happiness went through me. I couldn’t remember ever feeling quite this way. “I don’t think I’m funny.”

  “Annie,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I want to be with you. I want this vacation to go on and on. I don’t want to go home, because I don’t know if you’ll agree to see me when we go home. And Mark, I’m so jealous of that guy. So, yeah, it’s selfish of me.”

  He was too close, and I couldn’t think. I tried to pull my hand away.

  “Annie, don’t pull away. Please give us a chance,” he said softly. He leaned forward, touching my cheek with his hand.

  I shook my head, pulled back. “I can’t.”

  I left my hand in his.

  “Just tell me if you feel the same way,” he said.

  I couldn’t help the smile that flitted across my lips. “I like you,” I said, which I knew was a drastic understatement to the way I felt, the way my heart was pounding.

  He grinned. “That’s good.”

  “I can’t do anything until I talk to Mark.”

  What was I saying? Being here with Tommy made me think I should be with him. But was that just because Mark wasn’t here? Maybe it was natural to have these feelings. It could be physical attraction and nothing else. I pulled my hand away.

  “Okay, but …” Tommy was quiet for a moment. “We don’t have to wait—”

  “Yes, we do,” I said. “Mark has been my boyfriend for two years. I’ve known him almost all my life.”

  “When you talk to him, will you tell him about me?”

  “Of course I will.” If I decide to tell him. What was I getting myself into? I couldn’t think.

  Tommy shrugged. “It’ll just piss him off.”

  “Yeah. And hurt him. A lot.” I felt very sad when I thought of Mark. “But I have to. He’s not just my boyfriend. He’s always been my friend,” I said, my voice breaking.

  “And see,” said Tommy, “your caring about him like that, it makes me like you even more.”

  I smiled.

  “Which makes me want to kiss you again. It’s been very difficult to sit here and not kiss you.”

  That sweet feeling folded into me, layered with the sad feelings. I tried not to look at him. How I wanted to kiss him too. I stood up. “I gotta go … somewhere. Outside for just a minute.”

  “Okay,” he said, surprised. “But it’s dark, and it’s cold.”

  “I’ll just stand right outside the door,” I said, my hand on the knob. Cold would be good right now.

  “But you don’t have your coat.” He grabbed it off the chair and handed it to me.

  “Thank you.”

  He grinned. My knees weakened. I couldn’t think around him.

  “I’ll just be outside,” I said.

  CHAPTER 33

  Hey, little girl, what’cha doing out here?”

  I stomped my feet to get warm. It was freezing outside. “I’
m hardly little, Dad.” I pulled my gloves out of my pocket and put them on.

  He leaned up against the railing, the wind blowing his hair around. “Mind if I smoke another?”

  I gave him a look.

  “Fine,” he said, slipping a cigarette back in his coat pocket. He studied me for a moment, which I tried to ignore. Why couldn’t he go inside?

  “What’s going on with you, Annie?”

  I shrugged.

  “Don’t shrug a shrugger. Something’s eating at you.”

  “Nothing, Dad.”

  “It’s Tommy, isn’t it?”

  “Nooo.”

  “I’ve seen the two of you look at each other, Annie.”

  “Dad, really, nothing happened.”

  “I probably shouldn’t have let you go off with him,” he said. “It’s good I’m here to chaperone you two.”

  “Dad.” Please go insiiiide, I thought.

  “Are you going to tell Mark?”

  “There’s nothing to tell,” I said.

  “Right. Well, I wouldn’t tell him. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he said. “Oh, don’t give me that look, Annie. It’s your mother’s look.” He took out one of his hand-rolled cigarettes. “Honesty’s overrated.”

  I opened the motel-room door. “Just have a smoke, Dad.”

  “Stop fretting so much,” he yelled after me as I went inside.

  Tommy was reading. He sat up, put the book on the bedside table. I kept my coat on, still cold from outside.

  “Vicious cold out there,” he said. “Can’t believe they’re going to be able to launch tomorrow.”

  I nodded, threw myself on the bed, stomach first.

  He laughed. “Annie, Annie. It’s not that bad.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  We were quiet for a moment.

  “I heard what your dad said,” Tommy said finally.

  I looked up. I flipped over and lay on my side.

  “Y’all were talking,” he said, shrugging, “kind of loud.”

  “The wind,” I said.

  “You know, Annie, I was wrong. Your dad is wrong. You’re right. You should tell Mark.”

  “I know.” I took a deep breath. “Of course I will.” I looked over at Tommy. “You know, Mark’s really a good guy.” My cheeks hurt. “Really the best.”